Meaningful endeavors

Maybe it's happened to you. You reach a point where you pull up short and don't know the point of all your endeavors.

Life is like that at times.

It continues, relentlessly, and seems to demand, eat up, take everything you've got. At some point you look up and realize you just feel empty.

Now, I'm not talking about serious issues that require professional support. But more the continual needs that life piles up, and how they can chip away at us bit by bit. It's subtle. It's not drastic, it's not acute. It's more a chronic condition that trends toward throughout our life. It's easy to misdiagnose, and easier still to mistreat with attempts to refill with short-term dopamine based actions.

Feeling empty? Scroll TikTok. Worn out from work? Veg out on Netflix or YouTube. Allow our minds to be passively filled to handle the void we feel inside.

We all handle this way of being in different ways; addressing the holes inside us and stuffing them full with what feels good in the moment. Some of these approaches are problematic at best, while others are downright dangerous.

The way I've handled this myself this has been mixed. As a young man I filled it with video games. Later, I filled it with infinity wells: scrolling apps filled with short form video or text. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. These became the antidotes to the absence I felt, attempting to address the lack that life took from me.

These solutions aren't helpful in the long term. They don't truly meet our needs as humans, don't address anything but the surface-level desires. There's many ways to address these, some of which are beyond my ability to give advice, but there's always one reliable tool that slowly fills the gaps taken up by the entropy of our mere existence.

What is that? For me it's slowing down. Taking time to read a book, going on a walk or run, listening to music, stepping back from the frenetic demands of trying to do everything, all at once.

In stillness, in quiet, in contemplation and focus on a single thing, the mind begins to calm, the body restores. It's not possible to find fulfillment when you're rushing at all times in every direction. Steady progress, while doing hard and challenging tasks, builds up the muscles of resistance; it aids us in combatting the immediate desire to pull back and just take the easy path.

Reading a book isn't always easy, nor should it be hard. Working on a challenging task can be a grind, but it can also be done in a way that pushes us and encourages our curiosity. Working out isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be painful.

There are many ways we can handle the default mode we often accept—do whatever comes easiest. I'd encourage you to not think of it as a matter of willpower, but more finding meaningful tasks that replace the default paths we often tread without thinking.

Take this blog. Writing isn't easy. I don't always enjoy everything I create. But it's meaningful, it's a unique challenge, it's a push against the natural flow of entropy. It's a small mark in the world that says the culmination of who I am isn't merely taking up oxygen and moving molecules around for a space of time.

So, if you feel like you're just coasting, examine why. Find new inputs, don't just take away something that fills an infinite well in your life, instead look for a way to change it for something better.