Change is assured

Ask me twenty years ago what I'd be thinking—on almost any given topic, and it's likely that the younger version of me would be surprised by the person who has had 38 cycles around the sun.

We shift as we get older, we modify, we change our approach, we use information from before to add onto what comes later, and adjust. The adjustments also get smaller relative to the knowledge base we're building on. The size of the adjustment may be massive, but it's proportionally smaller, and so it often doesn't feel as life altering.

I welcome these changes. I welcome shifting, becoming different and growing. Stagnation is the only thing that's not wanted.

That said, through all this, as I grow and learn, it's important to have a singular concept to hold to; a North Star so to speak—something that matters even as new things come in.

For me I've roughly settled on the importance of being curious, of creativity, and connection with others. Those matter, and I see the value of each in our lives.

But if I had to choose one thing, above all else, that I attempt to have as a guidance principle, it would be the necessity of remaining empathetic.

It's easy to become jaded, to assume the worst, to see someone else as wrong because of misperceptions and slights. Especially in the age of social media, we can quickly decide that someone belongs on another side, that they're irrelevant because of a particular view. In fact we're daily being pushed by engagement algorithms to become tribal.

That's the easy path. To just assume that we're right and honest and best, and everyone else is stupid.

Now, I wouldn't be human if I didn't admit that I still feel that much of the time. It's a character flaw I'm still working through.

But the thing I've held to, the guiding principle that I'm trying to shape my life around, is the importance of having that empathy, of striving to see where someone else is coming from, look at things from their perspective, and in so doing humanize them.

That's not something I'm perfect at, or even good at. But it's an aspirational goal that I sometimes meet. And it's one that I'd rather have as opposed to the alternative—living a life of assuming the worst of people, looking for opportunities to knock them down and assume their stupidity, and maligning anyone who gets in my way.

Does that mean people are perfect? Absolutely not. In my nearly four decades I've seen time and again that we mess up, make mistakes, and given even the tiniest amount of power will more often than not use that for our own gains.

And yet, I'd rather live a life working toward being open and supportive, toward assuming the best (or at least a neutral stance in understanding someone's reasons for doing something) as opposed to jumping into the worst. There are times where the worst side of people does come out—just look at the news on any given Tuesday. It's bad. People are bad, and they do horrible things to each other.

But to live a life that always assumes that will happen, to be embracing and stressing for it at every corner—I find that tiring. I'd rather be cautious, but open and embracing, as opposed to shutting down and saving myself from the potential of getting hurt; yes I'd stay safer. But that's not living.

And so, for those who celebrate this Easter week, and participate in activities related to all that entails—I want to share why this time matters for me.

Lately our family has been practicing with friends in a passion play drama. We're going live soon, and it's been a lot of effort bundled up toward an event that I'm excited to be part of. In that, and through that, I've been reminded of the good parts of the religion I profess, of the beauty that can be shown through a faith that uplifts and supports, rather than seeking to tear down.

My faith might be wrong, my hope might be misplaced—but if it is, I'd rather life a life aligned toward empathy and care.

If you're someone of faith, I encourage you to look for ways you can use that to help others, to support the downtrodden, to speak for the voiceless. That, I believe, is the point of believing in a greater power, in looking for how we can use our time to support others.